Falling for you

Who is the asshole that lets her second child fall head first off a changing table while she stands literally three inches away and turns her head for one second?

I will give you one guess. You'd think a second-time mom would know better. Not so much.

Emmie is fine. I think I just stopped shaking an hour later.

There's nothing quite like the sight of your child falling face-first into the carpet and hitting her face on the metal heating vent. I think I aged 10 years. Jack happened to be standing right there as well and while Emmie was screaming, I kept telling him it was OK, that he didn't do anything wrong, it was mommy's fault. He looked scared and kept yelling "Josh! Daddy! Josh!" down the stairs until Josh finally came back in the house from outside.

Stellar parenting today, folks, stellar.

Hurts so good

We had our first official injury today.



Mr. I Don't Listen To My Mommy or My Grandma was fooling around in the hallway at Grandma's house, taking the picture frames off the wall. He tried to grab one that was just a little too high and it fell off the wall and the corner of the glass caught him right on the cheek.

Much crying commenced and after applying some pressure with a cold washcloth, it was determined to be more of a scratch than anything serious. But because it was on his face, it bled copiously.

After crying for about five minutes, he abruptly looked up at me and announced, "All done crying." An Elmo band-aid and some Neosporin and he was good as new.



Every time I look at him now, though, it's so jarring to see a big red gash across his presssshush perfect cherubic cheek. I considered calling a plastic surgeon, but thought that might be a little over the top, considering it was just a minor scratch.

Perhaps a scar will give him a little street cred with the preschool set next year.