Tastes great, less filling
Today I spent a great deal of time in the return line at Target -- no, I totally didn't return YOUR gift, I loved it, it was someone else's gift -- and felt the need to update the world via Twitter that no one works anymore. I know this because on the first day back at work and school for most people, the return line was 15 people long at 1:30 in the afternoon.
One of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom is being able to go to the grocery store or Target in the middle of the day when no one else is there. So all you people who should have been at work today and weren't? You were seriously cramping my style. Also, I have very little time alone and spending it in the Target return line instead of in the Target Starbucks sipping a child-free beverage of my choice made me a little stabby.
As I was glancing at my fellow customers, I happened to notice the dude in front of me was holding a case of Miller Lite. An open case of Miller Lite. Cans. There were clearly a few missing.
Now my first thought was that perhaps he had just bought the beer and it broke open on the way to his car and he was wondering if he might not be able to get a new case. I was thinking faulty packaging, an accidental grabbing of the flimsy handle in the wrong spot, that sort of thing.
Beer Man steps up when the way-too-chipper-for-this-time-of-year Target employee summons him and plunks the open case down on the counter.
"I need to return this," Beer Man said.
"Because...?" Target employee asked, his eyes widening.
"It was flat," said Beer Man.
I snickered at this point. I just couldn't help it.
"Umm, how many cans are left in there?" Target dude asked.
"I drank two," Beer Man said. "They were both flat."
"Do you have a receipt for that?" Target Dude inquired.
"Uh ... no," said Beer Man.
I snorted and tried to cover it up as a sneeze. Beer Man, who looked as if he might have shotgunned the two missing beers in the parking lot, shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "That's all I got."
"Sorry sir, we can't take that back," Target Dude said.
And with that, Beer Man heaved the 22-pack of beer back into his arms, shuffled slowly to the exit and left with his flat beer. I can only hope he found solace in a nice Coors product, or perhaps something from the King of Beers line.
As I was next in line, I sauntered up and wryly asked, "Think he'll try to return a bag of peanuts tomorrow?" Target Dude didn't even crack a smile. My humor is clearly wasted on the retail set.
One of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom is being able to go to the grocery store or Target in the middle of the day when no one else is there. So all you people who should have been at work today and weren't? You were seriously cramping my style. Also, I have very little time alone and spending it in the Target return line instead of in the Target Starbucks sipping a child-free beverage of my choice made me a little stabby.
As I was glancing at my fellow customers, I happened to notice the dude in front of me was holding a case of Miller Lite. An open case of Miller Lite. Cans. There were clearly a few missing.
Now my first thought was that perhaps he had just bought the beer and it broke open on the way to his car and he was wondering if he might not be able to get a new case. I was thinking faulty packaging, an accidental grabbing of the flimsy handle in the wrong spot, that sort of thing.
Beer Man steps up when the way-too-chipper-for-this-time-of-year Target employee summons him and plunks the open case down on the counter.
"I need to return this," Beer Man said.
"Because...?" Target employee asked, his eyes widening.
"It was flat," said Beer Man.
I snickered at this point. I just couldn't help it.
"Umm, how many cans are left in there?" Target dude asked.
"I drank two," Beer Man said. "They were both flat."
"Do you have a receipt for that?" Target Dude inquired.
"Uh ... no," said Beer Man.
I snorted and tried to cover it up as a sneeze. Beer Man, who looked as if he might have shotgunned the two missing beers in the parking lot, shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "That's all I got."
"Sorry sir, we can't take that back," Target Dude said.
And with that, Beer Man heaved the 22-pack of beer back into his arms, shuffled slowly to the exit and left with his flat beer. I can only hope he found solace in a nice Coors product, or perhaps something from the King of Beers line.
As I was next in line, I sauntered up and wryly asked, "Think he'll try to return a bag of peanuts tomorrow?" Target Dude didn't even crack a smile. My humor is clearly wasted on the retail set.
posted by Amy at
9:21 PM
5 Comments:
Classic. How come you are never in line with me at Target. I so get you and your humour. Enjoy any child free time you can.
Maybe he will try to return a half eaten pretzel.
omg, what a moron. Beer guy and Target dude for not appreciating your incredible sense of humor.
Huh? You can buy beer at Target? I must be going to the wrong Targets. Oh wait, I'm in a wacked out state and that's why! That must mean you can get wine there too! How novel!
ferfischer, you must be in a whacked state like PA. It's obnoxious how you can't buy alcohol except at approved-state stores.
Loving the pics of the kids Amy.
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