The perfect storm
I want you all to be the first to know: WeeBey is coming Dec. 4. I know this because the perfect storm is brewing and all the pieces will fall into place causing me to spontaneously combust and go into labor on that exact day.
At yesterday's OB appointment, my doctor and I took a gander at the calendar to see when this cerclage will be coming out. I will be 36 weeks Nov. 17. But I like to have my cerclages removed on Fridays because there is a small chance all those jazz-hands on my cervix and the whole "tugging the shit out of your cervix while trying really hard to get the wire out" business can cause me to go into labor. And if that's the case, then I have Josh around for the whole weekend to help me play a rousing round of "Is that a contraction?" instead of off cavorting with his friends at some sporting event. Or working. Far away. Out of town.
So that makes the removal date Nov. 20. Jack was born 19 days after my cerclage came out; Emmie arrived 12 days afterward. So let's split the difference and make it 14 days for WeeBey, even though everyone knows the more babies you have, the earlier they come. So that puts us at Dec. 4.
Jack's school calendar shows he has that day off. Of course he does. Because I will surely go into labor with two children at home. That's just how it goes for me. Even more distressing, my OB will be out of the country that entire week. Now, that's not a huge deal. Considering my chance of having my own doctor deliver a spontaneous birth (that is, one that's not induced) is one in seven, I wasn't counting on it anyway. But it would have been nice to have a shot at it.
I am also predicting a freak early December blizzard to coincide with all of this other shit. And Josh will probably be working in India. And the freak blizzard will mean I can't open the gate because there will be 10 feet of snow in the way, which means I won't be able to drive myself to the hospital and I'll be dressing two kids in snowpants and boots and dragging them by the hands, uphill, both ways, in snow drifts to the El. And I'll probably forget my El card and have to come up with cash to pay the damn fare. And I never carry cash.
There's no way I am exaggerating this in the slightest.
Mark your calendars kids -- I am 27 weeks and that stitch comes out in nine weeks. NINE WEEKS. To say I am not ready is a gross understatement. But I guess we have new crib bedding suitable for either sex, we have full wardrobes of boy and girl clothes in storage, we have a girl's name and two boy's names picked out and I have my boobs. I mean the boobs are all we need, really. We can go without a name, but baby needs to eat. So maybe we are ready.
At yesterday's OB appointment, my doctor and I took a gander at the calendar to see when this cerclage will be coming out. I will be 36 weeks Nov. 17. But I like to have my cerclages removed on Fridays because there is a small chance all those jazz-hands on my cervix and the whole "tugging the shit out of your cervix while trying really hard to get the wire out" business can cause me to go into labor. And if that's the case, then I have Josh around for the whole weekend to help me play a rousing round of "Is that a contraction?" instead of off cavorting with his friends at some sporting event. Or working. Far away. Out of town.
So that makes the removal date Nov. 20. Jack was born 19 days after my cerclage came out; Emmie arrived 12 days afterward. So let's split the difference and make it 14 days for WeeBey, even though everyone knows the more babies you have, the earlier they come. So that puts us at Dec. 4.
Jack's school calendar shows he has that day off. Of course he does. Because I will surely go into labor with two children at home. That's just how it goes for me. Even more distressing, my OB will be out of the country that entire week. Now, that's not a huge deal. Considering my chance of having my own doctor deliver a spontaneous birth (that is, one that's not induced) is one in seven, I wasn't counting on it anyway. But it would have been nice to have a shot at it.
I am also predicting a freak early December blizzard to coincide with all of this other shit. And Josh will probably be working in India. And the freak blizzard will mean I can't open the gate because there will be 10 feet of snow in the way, which means I won't be able to drive myself to the hospital and I'll be dressing two kids in snowpants and boots and dragging them by the hands, uphill, both ways, in snow drifts to the El. And I'll probably forget my El card and have to come up with cash to pay the damn fare. And I never carry cash.
There's no way I am exaggerating this in the slightest.
Mark your calendars kids -- I am 27 weeks and that stitch comes out in nine weeks. NINE WEEKS. To say I am not ready is a gross understatement. But I guess we have new crib bedding suitable for either sex, we have full wardrobes of boy and girl clothes in storage, we have a girl's name and two boy's names picked out and I have my boobs. I mean the boobs are all we need, really. We can go without a name, but baby needs to eat. So maybe we are ready.
Labels: Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy
posted by Amy at
8:03 PM
3 Comments:
way to be prepared. Sounds like you've got it all planned.
I can see the headline now: Chicago mom gives birth on El!
Wow, 9 weeks. That's both a really long time and not near enough, right?
Good, I was so worried you misplaced your boobs.
9 weeks-- that's right around the corner :)
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