I am raising a genius
I am not usually one for disclosing the fact that my son is a certifiable genius. It's not really a surprise, seeing the gene pool he comes from. (You can all stop laughing now. Just because we put dirt three feet up the foundation of our house doesn't mean we iz stoopid. We can haz purdy flowers.)
Jack just turned 3-and-a-half years old and knows his full name, his address and his telephone number, including area code. He can spell his full name, somewhat legibly write his first name, knows his sister's full name and how to spell it and can play Mariokart on the Wii.
He's currently fascinated by babies in people's tummies and can tell you everyone who has been in anyone else's tummy in our extended family. He has known all his colors, shapes and letters for more than a year, but we'll throw that in as well.
He's really into what fruits and veggies grow on trees and what grows on bushes or in the ground. But carrots stumped him this morning when we discussed it over a breakfast of pumpkin bread and scrambled eggs.
Jack: "Mommy, where do carrots grow?"
Mommy: "They grow in the ground."
Jack: "On the ground?"
Mommy: "No, under the ground."
Jack: "Where the subway El tracks are?"
Seriously, that is his thought process. He knows the subway runs under the ground and since carrots are growing under the ground, they must be growing near the tracks.
I can't wait to see how he theorizes that this baby is coming out of Mommy's tummy. Because he keeps asking and I keep saying, "The doctor will help the baby come out."
So does anyone have any age-appropriate thoughts on how to tell him the baby is going to shoot out of Mommy's girly bits like a pinball? He knows the correct anatomy terms (so do I, but can you imagine the Google searches that would result from that same phrase I just typed with the correct terms? I shudder to think.) but I am wondering how much detail we should get into at this age. Not to mention, I need to figure out how much of it I want all 26 kids in his new class to know, since I bet he will be sharing his knowledge with all of them.
Jack just turned 3-and-a-half years old and knows his full name, his address and his telephone number, including area code. He can spell his full name, somewhat legibly write his first name, knows his sister's full name and how to spell it and can play Mariokart on the Wii.
He's currently fascinated by babies in people's tummies and can tell you everyone who has been in anyone else's tummy in our extended family. He has known all his colors, shapes and letters for more than a year, but we'll throw that in as well.
He's really into what fruits and veggies grow on trees and what grows on bushes or in the ground. But carrots stumped him this morning when we discussed it over a breakfast of pumpkin bread and scrambled eggs.
Jack: "Mommy, where do carrots grow?"
Mommy: "They grow in the ground."
Jack: "On the ground?"
Mommy: "No, under the ground."
Jack: "Where the subway El tracks are?"
Seriously, that is his thought process. He knows the subway runs under the ground and since carrots are growing under the ground, they must be growing near the tracks.
I can't wait to see how he theorizes that this baby is coming out of Mommy's tummy. Because he keeps asking and I keep saying, "The doctor will help the baby come out."
So does anyone have any age-appropriate thoughts on how to tell him the baby is going to shoot out of Mommy's girly bits like a pinball? He knows the correct anatomy terms (so do I, but can you imagine the Google searches that would result from that same phrase I just typed with the correct terms? I shudder to think.) but I am wondering how much detail we should get into at this age. Not to mention, I need to figure out how much of it I want all 26 kids in his new class to know, since I bet he will be sharing his knowledge with all of them.
Labels: Jack, Kids Say Funny Shit
posted by Amy at
10:13 PM
8 Comments:
I remember my mom reading me a pretty graphic book at about that age, with pictures, about how that whole "thing" works. It was gross, but I guess I learned.
My suggestion is to distract him with "Tops & Bottoms" a Caldecott- winning picture book by Jan Stevens. I use it in 6th grade to teach the kids what vegetables really are; either roots, leaves, or stems of plants. Plus, it's very funny.
jack is a smart little boy, no thanks to you of course. Regarding the birth explanation, just keep it simple. Maybe check the bookstore in the pregnancy section.
Just remember it won't be just the 26 kids in his new class....it will be every pregnant woman you meet on the street who will get to hear how that baby will come out. I can laugh because this is my mother's favorite story of myself as a child, explaining to the pregnant woman in the checkout exactly how that baby was going to come out. My advice (as a bone fide farm kid) would be see if you can find a farm you can visit where they have a "miracle of life" type exibit with real animals giving birth (other than chickens) if you would be comfortable with that. It would give you a starting point for conversation about it at least. I am a big advocate for explaining to kids how things really work. It might be a little more info. than what a lot of people share, but I can promise you that knowing where babies really come from at a very young age didn't hurt me in the least.
I had to tell my four year old that the baby comes out of the mommy's vagina because he would not rest until he knew. Of course, he thought I meant bottom, so we had to clear that up. But in our house it has never come up again. He just wanted to know and once he knew he was satisfied. Just keep it simple and never give more details than are requested.
Lizzy Rockwell's Hello Baby is a great book for smart siblings-to-be. She shows the stages of fetal development and talks about the womb, but she's nicely vague about the coming out part-- but not in a patronizing way.
We told our kids (3 & 6) that mommies have a special hole for babies. They never asked fo more.... I ended up needing a c-section and that confused everyone!
Good luck with your very smart little man!
I have this really smart nephew that knows my first and last name, and that of my hubby's. He even points out that our last names are not the same. And I think it definitely runs in the family, but by way of his aunt, which is odd, but I will it explain it to you one day when I figure out how to be vague enough that you won't get insulted :)
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