Jamming at the United Center

I realized last night that all three of my children have now been to a Pearl Jam concert in utero. I told Josh that Pearl Jam only tours when I am pregnant and he said that's not really true, I am just always pregnant. He makes a good point.

Attending a concert surrounded by 21,000 people drinking beer and smoking various substances is a little depressing when you have to be stonecold sober, but that also always makes for good people-watching. Last night's PJ show at the United Center didn't disappoint.

I saw a guy get into a fight with security -- dude, it's a Pearl Jam show and you weren't even sitting on the floor. Calm the hell down. No one's crowd-surfing and I'm sure your flannel shirt was awesome in 1993, but now it's just sad. You deserve to get thrown out for that fashion crime if nothing else.

There was the girl who was so wasted after the show that she upturned a garbage can in the hall and had to be subdued by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend chose to subdue her by placing her in a headlock and dragging her away. When a good samaritan tried to intervene, the girl turned on him and tried to shove him to the floor. Again, it's not a Rage concert young lady. Get a grip.

Then there was the lovely couple sitting next to us from Pennsylvania. The woman was telling Josh how they left their six children (SIX!) at home to come to Chicago for the show. While Josh was chatting with her, the husband looked at my "Pregnant is the new sexy" shirt and conversationally asked if I was pregnant.

"No," I deadpanned, and took a drink of my (non-alcoholic) beer. Because it was in a regular beer cup, he had no idea it was O'Douls. He turned about 10 shades of red and started to say something when I saved him.

"I'm just kidding," I said. "I am totally pregnant. But wow, you should have seen the look on your face!"

Maybe I should have been nicer to the poor guy. He didn't come all the way to the Windy City to be harassed by a pregnant lady. But I just couldn't resist.