Thursday, July 9, 2009

Things overheard at the Brewers game

Josh, me, my sister and her boyfriend all attended a Brewers/Cardinals game this week. Josh and I were supposed to go with my parents, but they came down with Ebola or something and couldn't go. So they gave their tickets to Beth and Kevin.

These were the fun seats, too. We sat in the TGI Fridays Bullpen seats, which come with $38 per person in food and drinks. Thank you mom and dad! When we originally picked this game date way back in March, I had nary a clue I would be pregnant and not drinking my face off at this game. Unfortunately, my face remained in place as I was sober all night.

But I was not joined in sobriety by the other members of my party. Here are a few things I overheard during the game:

"I love Jason Kendall. I mean it's not like I want to make out with him or anything, but I would definitely hold his hand."
Said by a grown man with a total man-crush on the Brewers catcher.

"These Fat Tires totally have as much alcohol in them as those Long Islands. In fact, I think you should have another Long Island to catch up."
Umm, no.

"Do you think the carpet matches the drapes on Big Red (Seth McClung, red-haired Brewers relief pitcher)?"
This was the quote that inspired this whole entry. The people at the next table were enthralled with us. That and the fact we were being really loud so they couldn't help but look. With disdain.

"I think the bullpen catchers totally make league minimum."
You know what? They don't. They make $12,000 per season. We Googled at the table right after that. Apparently they're in it for the road beef, not the cash.

"These Long Islands are so good, I should dip my chicken fingers in them."
Aaaand, he did. Three times. I threw up in my mouth.

"I still have a sore leg from six weeks ago when I fell into the next row of seats during the polka."
What?

"That reminds me of the time I walked home from the Cubs game without any shoes on. That was after I was almost kicked out of the bleachers for yelling that the right-fielder sucked my ass."
I witnessed that one. High comedy. The yelling, not the barefoot-walking down city of Chicago sidewalks.

"Excuse me miss (to the waitress) but might you have a tablecloth I could wrap myself in?"
Dude, it was 60 degrees in July. The roof was open. It was like the frozen tundra out there.

"Prince Fielder (Brewers first baseman who is listed at 5'11" and 270 lbs. and is a self-proclaimed vegetarian) is the fattest vegan I have ever seen."
Seriously, the dude doesn't eat meat OR cheese and he's still that big? Something is amiss.

"Miss, I asked for a beer a while ago..."
As she points to the sweating beer glass RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

And yes, all those things were overheard at my table.

3 Comments:

Blogger Bren said...

It's always an interesting game at Miller Park. Last time I went I was 7 months pregnant and big fat drunk guys kept pushing me out of the kettle korn line so they could get their fix!

July 10, 2009 6:54 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Sounds like you had quite a night!

July 10, 2009 10:51 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

In his defense, Kevin didn't say he would hold Kendall's hand, he said he would "hug it out with him"...wait....does that make it worse?!?!?!? I am afraid for Kendall if Kevin ever sees him out in public:)

July 10, 2009 1:56 PM  

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