Sweet 16
Here we are at the 16-week mark, four months officially in the books with this pregnancy. I am pleased to say I am finally not sick anymore. I have days here and there where I am still queasy, but I turned the corner in the middle of last week and felt like a fog lifted and things got a whole lot better.
This means I can now prepare food and serve it, which is nice for my family. I also don't scream, "Don't talk about it! Don't talk about it!" when someone innocently brings up an item of food in conversation. It was a rough four months, but it's behind me now.
At my next appointment with my MFM doctor, I will have the big anatomy scan. To the uninitiated, that also means it's the ultrasound where the baby hopefully opens its legs and shows the goods. With both Jack and Emmie, Josh and I were so excited to find out the sex that we begged them to look at appointments even earlier (15 weeks with Jack, 16 weeks with Emmie).
This time around, I am of the mind to have it be a surprise. I know! Those of you who know me know this is so not like me. I am a planner and a control freak and someone who likes to know everything before going into a situation. So for me to not want to find out is so out of character. But my reasoning is that we have a boy and a girl already, and wardrobes to outfit a small village of children of either sex. We have everything we could possibly need for a baby, most of it in pairs because we had two of everything when we used to split time between two houses when Jack was a baby.
But most importantly, this is my last pregnancy. My last baby. My last delivery. And it might be nice to have the moment in the delivery room when the doctor excitedly announces the sex and holds him or her up for us to see. I think I want a little surprise the third time around.
Josh, well he feels a little differently. He doesn't want to wait, he wants to find out now. His reason? He doesn't want to waste time thinking of two names. Honest to God, that is his reason.
I told him last week that I am the one who just spent three months trying not to puke my brains out. I am the one who has had five needles in my back in the last four years (it will be six once this baby is birthed). I am the one who is going to push a baby's head the size of a cantaloupe out of a hole the size of a grape. I think I get a little more say in the matter. He countered with the idea that he could find out and I could still have it be a surprise. Ah, no. Because he will tell a friend and then another friend and before you know it, I'll find out the sex of my child on Facebook.
There was an impassioned speech given this weekend and I think I might have convinced him. Anyone care to share your thoughts on finding out vs. not finding out? Anyone who has done one of each with different pregnancies?
This means I can now prepare food and serve it, which is nice for my family. I also don't scream, "Don't talk about it! Don't talk about it!" when someone innocently brings up an item of food in conversation. It was a rough four months, but it's behind me now.
At my next appointment with my MFM doctor, I will have the big anatomy scan. To the uninitiated, that also means it's the ultrasound where the baby hopefully opens its legs and shows the goods. With both Jack and Emmie, Josh and I were so excited to find out the sex that we begged them to look at appointments even earlier (15 weeks with Jack, 16 weeks with Emmie).
This time around, I am of the mind to have it be a surprise. I know! Those of you who know me know this is so not like me. I am a planner and a control freak and someone who likes to know everything before going into a situation. So for me to not want to find out is so out of character. But my reasoning is that we have a boy and a girl already, and wardrobes to outfit a small village of children of either sex. We have everything we could possibly need for a baby, most of it in pairs because we had two of everything when we used to split time between two houses when Jack was a baby.
But most importantly, this is my last pregnancy. My last baby. My last delivery. And it might be nice to have the moment in the delivery room when the doctor excitedly announces the sex and holds him or her up for us to see. I think I want a little surprise the third time around.
Josh, well he feels a little differently. He doesn't want to wait, he wants to find out now. His reason? He doesn't want to waste time thinking of two names. Honest to God, that is his reason.
I told him last week that I am the one who just spent three months trying not to puke my brains out. I am the one who has had five needles in my back in the last four years (it will be six once this baby is birthed). I am the one who is going to push a baby's head the size of a cantaloupe out of a hole the size of a grape. I think I get a little more say in the matter. He countered with the idea that he could find out and I could still have it be a surprise. Ah, no. Because he will tell a friend and then another friend and before you know it, I'll find out the sex of my child on Facebook.
There was an impassioned speech given this weekend and I think I might have convinced him. Anyone care to share your thoughts on finding out vs. not finding out? Anyone who has done one of each with different pregnancies?
Labels: Pregnancy
posted by Amy at
9:29 PM
18 Comments:
I totally understand what you are talking about - I have found out the sex with each of my children because I am a planner (you know, after one girl, do we need all new clothes for a boy, then for the third baby after we had one of each I hd to know whose clothes I could get rid of). But now I keep thinking that if we have another maybe it would be fun to be surprised. Either way, I say it is your choice whether to find out or not. of course, I'm also an insane person who wants more kids despite having three already, so clearly my advice should be ignored. :)
I didn't find out with my first and it was super exciting. I remember the doctor sort of tossing this messy baby up on my chest and being so excited that it didn't even occur to me to ask what it was...and no one seemed to think they should tell me. I got all sorts of confused with the umbilical cord laying there and thought she was a boy. (yes a stupid mistake but I was young and stupid so yeah...) Then with my second I wanted to know. It was still exciting, but I think if I get to have another one then I will let it be a surprise.
How cool! If we ever have #3, I'd love for it to be a surprise, mainly because I think hearing "It's a boy" at 20 weeks would be kind of a bummer, but hearing that after labor would be a joy
Look at it this way, choosing two names just gives you and Josh something different to argue about for awhile. After this, it's all laundry and "who made that mess" discussions, LOL.
We didn't find out with either one, so I have nothing to compare it to. I loved doing it that way, though.
Amy - totally make it a surprise. I found out with Kahlan, found out with Joseph, and then for the same reasons you gave, didn't find out with Aimee. It wasn't EVERYTHING I expected it to be (mostly because the on call doc thought I knew, so he didn't announce it,) but I am so glad I did it. Now I never have to wonder what it is like to wait. And I am all about the 'live life so there will be no regrets' theory. I say go for it. You'll be happy you did. :)
We were surprised with our first and we found out the sex of our second. No real rhyme or reason to either decision, really. So, it was really fun in the labor/delivery room when the nurses were taking bets as to the sex...based on heart rates and what the baby was putting mamma through. Fun! And when he was born and the doctor said, "It's a boy!" there were tears all around!!
Here's an argument for you to give to Josh. Go with not finding out now. You'll be in for many more ultrasounds, right? You can always find out at one of the later ones!
whatever you decide, it will be a surprise either way because right now you have no clue. I found out with both my kids, because I'm like you. Even if you decide to find out, you still have the surprise of what he/she will look like.
didnt find out any of the three times. the surprise is so worth it. its also really fun to have everyone guessing, including yourselves.
Someone once told me youre surprised whether you find out at 20 weeks or when the baby is born....
I've always thought people that didn't find out were nuts. How are you supposed to buy clothes and decorate and all that? And now I have both a boy and a girl and I am fairly certain that I'd wait to find out. I vote that you wait!
Hello! Just surfed in via Zoot.
I have two children, and would have loved to have known their gender before giving birth. (That only happened with the second)
I hope the hubby will take your feelings into consideration and go along with you on this one; I'd hate to find out my baby's gender on Facebook as well :P
Hi - sent over to peek from Zoot :o)
With my 1st two I found out because Im a total planner...but for the exact same reason as you mentioned, I did not find out with my third. It was the LAST time Id be pregnant and if we were ever going to have a surprise, this was the last chance.
An added bonus was that it totally annoyed our extended family when we decided to not find out!
Hi from Zoot for me as well!
I did not find out with my first, but I did with my second. Mostly because I felt that it might be easier on my 2 year old if he knew if it were a brother or sister, and then he could use the name and everything. As for me, I actually preferred not knowing. It seemed more mysterious and interesting to wonder about who was in there, kicking my innards to bits.
I'm here from Zoot, too. We didn't find out with our first, and we did with our second because I thought it would help me connect better during the pregnancy (instead of feeling like--there's this genderless THING inside me). If we had a third, I think I'd leave it as a surprise, as much as I'd want to know it'd be a girl.
So, I have no advice for you. ;)
I never found out with either of my kids and I loved every minute of it. Poeple's shocked expressions when they ask and you say "dunnow, don't want to know" are great, plus it adds a wonderful dash of mysticism into the whole pregnancy. Don't find out!
I found out with my first and didn't find out with my second. Not finding out drove my Mom crazy, added bonus in my book. I thought it was fun, you don't get many opportunities in life where you can experience both ways.
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I had 3 kids and we didn't find out with any of them. We decided that there are so few REALLY good surprises in life so why not be surprised? Oh how it made people mad. I mean really and truly MAD. We got all kinds of odd comments and such but I thought our doctor was going to throw a party in our honor.
It was just so much fun finding out at the moment of birth and then my husband being able to take the baby out to meet the family and announce the sex.
Don't even get me started on how mad people got because we kept our name choices secret! :)
By the way, I'm here from Miss Zoot's place. Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy!
If we have a third, I am absolutely not findng out! I have two boys and would be as thrilled to have three boys or two boys and a girl. I'm totally with you on this one!
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