Floored
Before we had children, Josh and I used to eat pleasant dinners. Sometimes, we would light candles and have wine. Occasionally, we ate on our good china. Mostly, we ate pizza. But I did cook quite a bit and we usually ate dinner together after work.
In the five years I was with Josh before our children came along, I never once saw him throw his food on the floor. He can tell you the same thing about me. So I'm not sure where my son, the child who put me flat on my back for four months and has brought joy to my life each and every day for the past 38 months, got the idea that flinging your entire plate full of food on the floor was a good idea.
For several months now, with some improvement and much backsliding, Jack has been dumping his meals on the floor. Sometimes he'll eat everything on his plate, and throw the empty dish across the room like it's a frisbee. But usually, it's a plate full of food that he either doesn't want to eat or thinks would be funny to see decorating the dining room that whizzes through my line of sight on its way to the hardwood flooring.
Tonight's extravaganza included salmon and mashed potatoes all over my mother-in-law's csrpeting. One minute he was eating nicely and the nex,t he was laughing like a lunatic before I could grab his arm and stop him.
My mother-in-law said she thought I had been bitten by something based on my reaction. After pulling my shit together, I calmly picked him up out of his seat and told him he had to clean all of the mess up and then he was going straight to bed after we were finished.
"But Mommy, I can't clean it, it's too hard," Jack whined.
"Perhaps you should have thought of that before giving your mashed potatoes a ride," I said smugly.
The most annoying part of the whole thing is that he had only taken three bites of the grilled salmon. And it was awesome. I would have totally eaten his, had he only chosen to throw his salad instead of his main course.
As it was, I had to give half of mine to Emmie because she ate her weight in salmon. In addition to eating her own piece, she ate some of both mine and Josh's, as well as veggies, mashed potatoes and strawberries.
I'm an idiot. I should have just sat her next to Jack's chair where she would have had access to the all-you-can-eat floor buffet.
In the five years I was with Josh before our children came along, I never once saw him throw his food on the floor. He can tell you the same thing about me. So I'm not sure where my son, the child who put me flat on my back for four months and has brought joy to my life each and every day for the past 38 months, got the idea that flinging your entire plate full of food on the floor was a good idea.
For several months now, with some improvement and much backsliding, Jack has been dumping his meals on the floor. Sometimes he'll eat everything on his plate, and throw the empty dish across the room like it's a frisbee. But usually, it's a plate full of food that he either doesn't want to eat or thinks would be funny to see decorating the dining room that whizzes through my line of sight on its way to the hardwood flooring.
Tonight's extravaganza included salmon and mashed potatoes all over my mother-in-law's csrpeting. One minute he was eating nicely and the nex,t he was laughing like a lunatic before I could grab his arm and stop him.
My mother-in-law said she thought I had been bitten by something based on my reaction. After pulling my shit together, I calmly picked him up out of his seat and told him he had to clean all of the mess up and then he was going straight to bed after we were finished.
"But Mommy, I can't clean it, it's too hard," Jack whined.
"Perhaps you should have thought of that before giving your mashed potatoes a ride," I said smugly.
The most annoying part of the whole thing is that he had only taken three bites of the grilled salmon. And it was awesome. I would have totally eaten his, had he only chosen to throw his salad instead of his main course.
As it was, I had to give half of mine to Emmie because she ate her weight in salmon. In addition to eating her own piece, she ate some of both mine and Josh's, as well as veggies, mashed potatoes and strawberries.
I'm an idiot. I should have just sat her next to Jack's chair where she would have had access to the all-you-can-eat floor buffet.
posted by Amy at
8:11 PM
7 Comments:
I truly don't know how I'd react if my daughters ever did that. I'd hope my abnormal sense of humor wouldn't emerge n laugh or something. I'd like to think I would do what u did, but my goodness... cheeky li'l fellow u have there, huh? :D BTW I love yur blog. Very entertaining
Wow. I think I would have turned into a shrieking banshee if I had to deal with that every night. Doesn't he get hungry not having a full dinner?
I think I would totally lose my sh!t if my kids flung a plate of food. We get the occaisional flying fork-full, but I guess when my head spun around, my kids thought better of upping the ante!
I feel your pain - my daughter swipes her hand back and forth knocking stuff off of her tray when she's done and if I am not quick enough it is all over the floor. Not sure what I was thinking getting dark hardwood floors in the kitchen!
Would it surprise you to know we have the same thing?
Luckily, two weeks at my parents' house gives ample opportunity for everyone to be surprised/shocked/amused at my inability to have curtailed this behaviour by now, and gives him a whole new audience who react enough to ensure continuation of said behaviour. Fun!
Oh the adventures of Jack.........
You will have so many fun stories to tell his wife someday!
oh wow. I would lose my head if Ethan did that nightly. Or, um, once. LOL I hope the phase ends quickly!
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