Nobody touch anybody
This has been a tryng week in the sibling relations category. Jack has been especially aggressive with Emmie and it's wearing on everyone's nerves. Lucky for me, Josh is home this week so he's been able to share in the fun.
Filed under "things I never thought I would say to my almost-3-year-old":
* You sister is not a road. Stop driving your trucks on her head. She doesn't like it.
* Stop touching Emmie. No, I mean it. Not at all, ever again. Never.
* When you head-butt your sister, it hurts her and makes her cry.
* Emmie doesn't like it when you close the toybox on her. And neither does Mommy.
* You know what? You are not watching Elmo tonight. In fact, you are not watching anything for the rest of your life. That was NOT NICE.
His response to any or all of these was to laugh and do more of the same. There's been a lot of timeout around here the last few days. Also, a lot of crying on Emmie's part. And a lot of whining on Mommy's part. And a lot of sighing on Daddy's part. We're just a fun bunch to be around. Who wants a playdate?
So we're going to start a star chart. Good behavior earns stars, bad behavior gets them taken away. If you don't have enough stars in the good column at the end of the day, you don't get to watch a video. Just to be clear, this is for Jack. I do not, contrary to what Josh thinks, need to earn my TV time.
If you've done something similar, can you give me any advice on how to implement this?
Filed under "things I never thought I would say to my almost-3-year-old":
* You sister is not a road. Stop driving your trucks on her head. She doesn't like it.
* Stop touching Emmie. No, I mean it. Not at all, ever again. Never.
* When you head-butt your sister, it hurts her and makes her cry.
* Emmie doesn't like it when you close the toybox on her. And neither does Mommy.
* You know what? You are not watching Elmo tonight. In fact, you are not watching anything for the rest of your life. That was NOT NICE.
His response to any or all of these was to laugh and do more of the same. There's been a lot of timeout around here the last few days. Also, a lot of crying on Emmie's part. And a lot of whining on Mommy's part. And a lot of sighing on Daddy's part. We're just a fun bunch to be around. Who wants a playdate?
So we're going to start a star chart. Good behavior earns stars, bad behavior gets them taken away. If you don't have enough stars in the good column at the end of the day, you don't get to watch a video. Just to be clear, this is for Jack. I do not, contrary to what Josh thinks, need to earn my TV time.
If you've done something similar, can you give me any advice on how to implement this?
Labels: Emmie, Jack, Sibling Relations
posted by Amy at
11:15 PM
5 Comments:
Don't expect it to work immediately.
My sister uses that for my niece.
They were in Target and the princess NEEDED a doll. NEEEEEEEEEEEEDED IT (you know the whine) my sister said if she gets 5 stars for getting dressed every morning without fighting she would get the doll
she didn't make it one day and then got upset that she didn't get the doll. They had to do it 4x before it kicked in w/ the princess (she's 4 btw)
Once she understood - be good, get stars, get reward. it started working. Now the reward is not always toys, but it's a good start
You've been tagged :)
What worked for me was to reward the picked on kid with lots of attention, treats, special privileges and sned the "bad" kid to timeout out of sight but close enough that he could hear the fun his sibling was having. Of course, you have to watch out for one of them deliberately provoking the other one in the hopes that they will retailiate and get in trouble. They learned that it was worse to see their siblings rewarded than it was to get punished. And the star reward system--results were too far removed from the time of the actual event to work for my kids were they were younger than 6.
What worked for me was to reward the picked on kid with lots of attention, treats, special privileges and sned the "bad" kid to timeout out of sight but close enough that he could hear the fun his sibling was having. Of course, you have to watch out for one of them deliberately provoking the other one in the hopes that they will retailiate and get in trouble. They learned that it was worse to see their siblings rewarded than it was to get punished. And the star reward system--results were too far removed from the time of the actual event to work for my kids were they were younger than 6.
Ah! Sounds familiar!
I've done star charts. It does seem to work. But be diligent. And don't threaten to take stars away, just do it. Let us know how it goes!
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