Boy behaving badly

Today could have been my single-most embarassing day as a parent.

We are in Peoria at my in-laws' house this week so the kids can see Josh after work. Today, my mother-in-law and I took the children to a department store so I could shop for shoes.

I have written about the hell that is shoe-shopping with the kids before, but suffice it to say I did it once by myself and I would rather walk barefoot over hot coals before doing it again.

So I brought reserves with me. I tried on a few pair and didn't find anything I really liked, and we admittedly might have stretched it a wee bit too long. To pass the time, Grandma gave the kids some books to look at in the stroller. Emmie thought hers resembled a sandwich, so she tried to gum it into oblivion. Jack's made music and he was grooving on it, so all was well.

Until we reached the checkout.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN ... cue the foreboding music.

He somehow got Emmie's book in his hot little hand and didn't want to give it up. Not sure if he didn't want the clerk to touch Emmie's stuff or if he wanted to deny Emmie her purchase or if he felt we were being overcharged, but he lost his damn mind.

There was crying of real tears and the wrestling of the book from his hands and promises he would get it right back and finally I told him with a stern face that he needed to stop and act like a nice boy.

I handed the cashier the book, she rang it up and I handed it back to Jack.

He then THREW THE BOOK AT THE CASHIER.

I had to stop for a split-second because I didn't believe he really did it. Oh, but he did. He looked me in the eye and laughed.

I immediately grabbed him out of the stroller, put him in a timeout near the door and then marched him back to apologize to the woman. Which of course he didn't really do. But I did, profusely.

Abd then I took him to lunch, because I was hungry. Stellar parenting right there, isn't it? Throw shit at people and get rewarded with pasta. I will now slink off to the Bad Mommy corner.