Emmie: Three months

Dear Emmie,

We've hit the end of the 90-day no-questions-asked return period and I am happy to say that we are definitely keeping you. So we don't have to worry about finding the receipt for you, thank goodness.



The past month has been filled with ups and downs. Starting with the major downer, you had to have double hernia surgery. You had a strange bump that we noticed coming and going during random diaper changes and asked the doctor about it and he said you had a hernia and would need surgery. So we met with a surgeon and a mere three days later, we were handing you over for anesthesia. To say I was nervous was an understatement, but I knew you would be OK and in good hands. You were in and out in 55 minutes and by the time we got you home, you really wouldn't have known you had your little abdomen cut open. Now, three weeks later, you have teeny-tiny lines on your lower tummy, the only remnants of your ordeal.



We've also gone kind of to pot with the sleeping. You used to be a prolific sleeper and we actually needed to wake you up to eat because you would sleep so long overnight. Ha! I knew that would come back to bite me in the butt. Now you have graduated to your crib in your own room, where you start the night at 8 p.m. Anywhere from 12-2 a.m., you wake up to eat and because I need as much sleep as possible to function with your brother the next day, I bring you in bed with me. There you proceed to eat again in three hours, then two hours, then every hour until we get up for the day. The boob keeps you mostly asleep, but the drawback is the kink in my neck and my aching back from sleeping in a 4-inch space because you and your father take up the entire rest of the bed.



But the ups have been so great this month. You are such a happy, smiley girl. When you wake up in the morning, you take a few seconds to look around and get used to being awake and then when you finally notice my face looking at you, you bust out the biggest whole-body smile and I don't even care that I am so tired. But your best smiles are reserved for Daddy. You see him and it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist, you only have eyes for him. You smile and coo and talk to him way more than you do to me. I guess I am old hat since I am around all the time. Maybe since you look so much like him, you think you are looking at yourself.

Looking at yourself has become one of your great pleasures, proof that while you might not look like me, you definitely have my tendency of not being able to pass a mirror without admiring myself. You have a little activity mat with a mirror above it and you coo and smile and kick your little legs a mile a minute while you stare into your own eyes.



You're still exclusively breastfed and that is going great. We've hit a point where I really don't even keep track of how often or how long you eat. If you're fussy, I whip out the boob and you're usually asleep within 10 minutes. And generally you're only fussy if you are hungry or tired. Except this past week, when you've been a little cranky because you had your first cold. Breastfed baby gets cold at three months; film at 11. But you can thank your brother for exposing you to those germs. Actually we can all take some blame because all four of us have the same cold. And if you felt how I felt, I don't blame you for being crabby.

This was also the month you woke up and decided to have a look around. Everything is so much more interesting to you now. Take the fish on your swing, for example. Now you watch them go around, tracking the same fish until it leaves your field of vision and then starting with a new one. We can actually see your little eyes following it and it is so funny. You're also digging the bouncy seat, having conversations with the little fish inside the window while I take a shower in the morning. You're also really into looking around at all the kids when we go to the park or Jack's various classes, but watching so much activity usually puts you to sleep pretty quickly.



I can't begin to tell you how much I am enjoying having you in our lives. I knew having two kids would be difficult logistically, but I had no idea you would be so much fun. I love to watch you sleep, and often times you sleep right on my lap after you eat. I couldn't enjoy that kind of time with your brother because I always had work to get done, so I love doing it with you when I can. I also got a few days of one-on-one time with you this month when your brother went to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was so nice to be able to play with you and interact with you on your own. Sometimes I feel like you get the short end of things because you are little and we can set you down and have you be content whereas your brother would have a meltdown.

Your relationship with Jack was better for the most part this month, although the hitting made somewhat of a comeback. But you still like to watch him run around and you always look toward the sound of his voice. He's started asking for you in the morning when he gets up and when he sees you, he always gives you a "tiss" and an "ugh" and smiles so big at you. I think once you can sit up and move around you two are going to be great buddies. And once you learn to hit back when he whacks you, I imagine he'll think twice about hitting you. Not that I will condone you whalloping him more than once.



Everyone says that you can't love one of your children more than another, that your heart just expands to love them equally. I can tell you that has happened for me. I love you differently, but in a good way. You are my second baby and I am more sure of myself, more sure of my decisions. That makes me a different Mommy to you than I am to your brother. But I definitely have more than enough love to go around.

Love,
Mommy