Crush the thrush

That's not lipstick and I'm not feeding my 14-week-old daughter grape juice.

That would be gentian violet, the best cure for thrush. Which I have. Yes, my nipples are the same color. No, I won't be showing you a picture of them.

Shooting pain in the breast between feedings, sore nipples at the start of a feeding and a clogged duct two weeks ago all added up to thrush. And here I thought I knew it all when it came to breastfeeding. Apparently, not so much, because I was convinced it was just a milk blister related to the clogged duct.

(For all the male readers out there: bear with me, we'll return to talk of things other than breastfeeding real soon. For now, just go on over to ESPN.com for some more manly topics.)

After consultation with a La Leche League leader and lactation consultant (who had differing opinions on the cause) and extensive Google searches, it was determined I had thrush and should go straight to the gentian violet and skip the lotrimin and nystatin. In the hopes of kicking this yeast quickly, I gave it a whirl.

So far, day 3 of treatment and I am feeling 80 percent better. Emmie looks ridiculous, but the unfortunate side effect of the gentian violet is that is stains skin purple for a few days. But you know what removes it? VODKA. Applied topically with a cotton ball. To the skin, not the lips, lest anyone call CPS on my ass for giving my baby martinis. But an ounce administered orally to mommy sure makes her feel better about taking her purple-lipped child out in public.