Not a good day

Number of times Jack smacked Emmie: 4 (all within 10 minutes)

Number of times Jack hit Emmie with a broom: 1 (he reached over the pack-n-play to poke her, right in the eye too)

Number of times Jack hit Daddy: 1 (during dinner, with a spoon; dinner ended quickly thereafter)

Number of times Jack dropped a lamp on Mommy: 1 (before naptime, on the head)

Number of times Mommy lost her shit with Daddy today: Too many to count (SERIOUSLY)

Number of keys Jack pulled off Daddy's brand-new laptop: 2 (of course, Mommy's fault, see above)

Number of times Emmie cried and insisted on being held: 27 (approximately every time we tried to put her down)

Number of inches of slush and snow Mommy shoveled: 3 (it was early on during the storm)

Number of beers Mommy consumed at the end of the day: 1 (and it should have been more)