Tuesday, October 30, 2007

NaBloPoMo starts Thursday

So remember last year, when I did NaBloPoMo and I bored all of you to tears with 30 straight posts in the month of November?

Guess what? I am doing it again! Hooray! You want to do it too, you say? Well you can sign up HERE. All the cool kids are doing it. It's like smoking, but way cooler.

So starting Thursday, this blog will be coming at you in full effect every day. That's Saturdays and Sundays too. Who can't wait to read more drivel about me and my whining about pregnancy and child-rearing? I can't! I can't!

So to prepare for my month of running off at the mouth, I am taking tomorrow off. That, or I will be too busy stuffing my face with candy. Mmmmmm candy. Take 5s anyone? If you've never had them, run, do not walk, to your local convenience store and buy some. The minis are best, but the full-size will do in a pinch. I have turned so many people onto these bundles of bliss, I am now associated with them in all my friends' heads.

See, this is the kind fo stupid stuff I am going to write about for 30 days.

On to November my friends.

Monday, October 29, 2007

I found Nemo

He's right here in my house.



Seriously, I am in love with this costume. We took Jack to a little neighborhood Trick or Treat event this weekend, and people kept exclaiming what a cute costume it was and all the kids were so excited to see Nemo.

Can't wait for Halloween on Wednesday.

Oh, and hi, I am 27 weeks pregnant in this picture. Instead of Finding Nemo we should call it Finding the Belly.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Carving out some time

So this is how we'll remember carving pumpkins with Jack, when he was almost 2 years old.



What a warm and fuzzy look at us experiencing the magic of Halloween together. He, incidentally, hated the feel of the pumpkin innards and kept throwing the scraper down on the ground and making a disgusted face when he would touch them.

This is how we really experienced carving pumpkins with Jack, when he was almost 2 years old.



As you can see, it made everyone a lot happier. And by everyone, I mean me and Josh. There's no way I was letting him near me with slimey pumpkin innards all over the place.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Cold shoulder

It's chilly here. Like 53 degrees chilly.

I am walking around wrapped up in a blanket with a sweater on. Isn't pregnancy supposed to raise your body temperature?

I swear to God I thought about pulling my fur coat out today. Do you think it's too soon?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Do you have this in an 8?

Have you ever tried shoe shopping when you're pregnant? Let me tell you, it's not pretty.

I can barely get my own shoes on every day without contorting my body. It's not that I am too big or anything like that, it's that my balance is completely out of whack. So I try to stand on one leg and put the shoe on the other foot and fall into a little heap on the couch.

Today at the store I fell into the display twice and almost fell an additional 12 times. The only reason I didn't fall those 12 times is because I was able to grab the pillar in the middle of the aisle. Graceful, I am not.

But I had to have new boots. My old brown knee-highs are from 2003. And can you believe that round-toed, chunky heels are no longer in style? I mean it's only been four years, can't things stay the same?

Because I am attending a wedding shower and my sister-in-law's 30th birthday dinner this weekend, I actually purchased a new maternity dress. One that is screaming for a pair of knee-high boots to complete it.

Off I went to DSW during naptime. After the near-misses with the floor and the displays, I finally managed to condense the myriad choices down to two. One, perfect with a stiletto heel, but of course, not in my size. Two, an acceptable backup, with a slightly wider heel.

I spent damn near 20 minutes debating getting a half-size too small or a half-size too big. What pregnant woman in her right mind is contemplating stiletto heels anyway? Shouldn't I be slouching around in backless New Balance tennis shoes all the time?

I decided, with much difficulty, to go with the backup pair. They fit, they had a little room for growth, and hopefully I won't have any swelling in the coming weeks and will have them at the ready for weeks to come. And they look cute with jeans too!

Surely my next post will be about how I landed in the ER because I tripped and fell off my high-heeled boots and sent myself into premature labor. Because that's how my luck has been running lately.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Pumpkin Farmpalooza

This weekend was Pumpkin Farm weekend 2007. We visited two, yes two, for the full experience.


That scarecrow is not fooling anyone. I know he's not real.


These pumpkins are bigger than me.


Who the hell are these people making me pose with them?


If I am 2.5 pumpkins tall, what percentile am I in?


I bet I can throw this pumpkin really far. At Mommy's head.


The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


I really have to carry this back to the car?

Friday, October 19, 2007

Cupcakes anyone?

Today I had lunch with the girls and afterward, we stopped off at Sweet Mandy B's, the cute bakery next to the restaurant, for a little snack. This bakery has the world's best cupcakes. I am not exaggerating. We say they are like crack.

The great thing is that you can get mini cupcakes at SMB's. They are like a two-bite version of the large ones, perfect for an afternoon snack.

Me: "Do you have any mini cupcakes today?"
Surly counter girl: "NO. We only make those for special orders and any you have seen out are just extras from those orders."
(Me in my head): Hmmm. Every single time I have been here, they have had them. That's weird. But, OK. And wow, those cookies look good. And pie! They have pie! Oh, right I need to order.
Me: "OooooKay. I guess I will have two large vanilla cupcakes then. And two cookies."
Surly Counter Girl: "That'll be $7.50."

As I am putting my change in my pocket, I see another bakery worker placing a tray of mini cupcakes ON THE COUNTER FOR PURCHASE. Followed by another tray.

My friend Leah is now doing a double-take. I am incredulous. I say to Surly Counter Girl, "Ummm. Hey, look, mini cupcakes!"

SHE IGNORES ME. Completely looks away and ignores me.

My friend Sam says she is going to order one, would I like one? I tell her no, clearly those are a figment of our imagination because they don't have any mini cupcakes. It's like a mirage in the desert. Or the dessert in this case.

Surly Counter Girl continues to ignore us until we leave.

WTF?????

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Awesome day

Do you ever have one of those days as a parent where everything is just perfect?

Seriously, today was one of those days for me. I think it helped that I felt well-rested when he woke up at 7:20 a.m., so that always puts a positive spin on the day.

But we just had an awesome day together. We ate pumpkin bread for breakfast and read some books and then we went to a music class and then shopping and after his lunch and nap, the three of us went to the Children's Museum. We got home, hustled dinner and a bath and put him to bed.

I am finally able to eat normal food without any ramifications and we're back to our normal routine after the big vacation. It was also a beautiful day weatherwise for mid-October, 70s and sunny, and I think the stars and moons and sun aligned to make everyone happy. Yay us.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Just call me Suzy

Allow me to introduce myself. Suzy. Suzy Homemaker.

This afternoon, I found that Jack had pulled his crib bumper completely away from the crib slats and was trying to use it to construct some sort of scale replica of the Titanic during naptime.

The corner where one would tie the two ends together had no more ties on it. He had pulled them off and threw them out onto the floor, along with his socks. So I figured, "I am an adult. I can fix this."

So I went and got my handy-dandy sewing kit. Wait? You didn't think I had a sewing kit, much less one that I could put my hand right on? Oh ho ho, you would be wrong. I received one as a wedding gift and because I have a photographic memory of the inventory of this house and it's storage spaces, I knew it was in the TV cabinet in the guest room. Isn't that where you store your sewing kit?

Moving on. I got out the sewing kit, nevermind that it was the first time since I received it at a wedding shower three years ago that I have actually used it, and found white thread and a needle.

I took it into the bedroom, threaded the needle on the VERY FIRST TRY thankyouverymuch, and got down to bizniz. About 10 minutes later, both ties were secured in a tight fashion and I was crowing about my accomplishment to Josh.

Josh, who was nonplussed and muttered, "You've never even sewn a button on for me." He's such a hater. Always trying to bring me down. But not today my friend, not today.

As I type this, a loaf of pumpkin bread is in the oven. Yesterday I cleaned the entire kitchen and then wiped the counters down several more times throughout the day because they were looking streaky. I swear to God, I am entertaining thoughts of making Jackson's Halloween costume. I am also contemplating a plan for peace in the Middle East and I think I might be able to eradicate AIDS in Africa.

Anybody need anything while I am up?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Welcome to Snarky Mommy!

Remember when I said I was working feverishly on The Next Big Thing a few weeks ago? Well ta-da, here it is. Well this is part of it.

First, the big part. To compliment the SnarkyBabies line we developed, we have launched SnarkyMommies. In addition to some smartass shirts for moms and moms-to-be, we have a line of personalized products for the whole family.

Let's say your child's name is, oh, I don't know, Jack. Hypothetically of course. Well at SnarkyMommies, you can purchase yourself a "Jack's Mommy" shirt. And your husband a "Jack's Daddy" sweatshirt. "Jack's Grandma" and "Jack's Grandpa" are of course available for Those Who Love To Spoil The Child and Aunts and Uncles can even get in on the product placement. Siblings will also love the "Jack's Big Brother" and "Jack's Big Sister" shirts.

Looking for a great way to announce your new arrival? Shirts for the whole extended family!

OK, so enough shilling. Just check it out and if you like, buy some shit! www.snarkymommies.com. And of course I need to remind y'all about SnarkyBabies, which has a ton of new personalized designs, including some for Halloween!

So why the blog change?

Well, several weeks ago, I read that "bling bling" was becoming -- oh my god -- not cool anymore. The rappers and hipsters were moving on. Leaving the term behind. Josh told me I better switch my blog. I mean what's worse than a mid-30s mom trying to look like she is down with what the kids are saying these days and then getting it all wrong?

I am evolving with the times. Moving on. Starting fresh.

My old archives, those held so dear to me and my cervix, are still available over there in the sidebar. And you should be automatically redirected to this site in a few weeks when I can figure out how in the hell to give people access to the old archives without redirecting them here. But in the meantime, update your blogrolls and your favorites if you wouldn't mind.

You'll still find all the babble and drivel I normally blog about right here. So I would say it's same bat time, different bat channel.